Coaching

Book Review: Listen...Till You Disappear

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Book Review: Listen, Till You Disappear by Martin Kettelhut, PhD

Rating - 5/5 Stars

Martin Kettelhut's Listen...Till You Disappear is an extremely practical, step-by-step guide to uncovering your limiting thoughts and beliefs, reconciling your past, connecting with others, and crafting your very own awesome future.

Martin Kettelhut, PhD

Spoiler alert - I went to graduate school with Martin Kettelhut at Temple University. We were very, very close until the later 90s, when we lost touch.

Then in the way of social media, he showed up one day on my LinkedIn "People You May Know" list. Like me, Dr. Kettelhut chose a path outside of academia. To date, he is an extremely successful executive coach who has co-founded two companies. His focus today is on listening as the key to innovation. Check out his website - Listening is the Key.

MK

Mindfulness and Listening

Dr. Kettelhut focuses on meditation, on internal listening and journaling, as a key to self-understanding and success. He draws from many traditions, including Western Philosophy, Eastern Philosophy, and Yoga to create a very simple, yet highly sophisticated approach to mindfulness and success.

Basically, you refine and deepen your internal listening, which helps refine and deepen your external listening, which helps refine and deepen your communication skills. This then leads to more clarity around what you really want and how to get it.

Getting through the noise in our heads and in the world, getting past our own internal voices and the competing advice we get from outside, is not so easy. Dr. Kettelhut doesn't pretend that it is, which is refreshing. But he does promise that if we are willing to put in some effort, we will have a better life.

Listen Exercises

Listen...Till You Disappear is a practical guide. In the course of the book there are 32 exercises that are aptly named, "Listen Exercises". They start simply, with basic mindfulness meditation,

Simply notice all of the thought and feelings moving around inside of you. ...Stay in the mode of observing these thoughts and sensations, rather than becoming involved with them, until you witness them subsiding and are left in deep peace with yourself.

There are very practical exercises, like de-cluttering your calendar, and more complex exercises that involve recognizing and releasing expectations and finding allies among friends.

Every exercise is journaled. Towards the end of the book, you refine prior answers based on new information and continue to refine your beliefs, expectations, and agreements.

The Techné of Listening - Do the Work

Basically, this is a workbook. Listen...Till You Disappear is about the techné of listening, the work. You can read the book without doing the work, but that would be silly and short-sighted.

Finally, we have a guide to meditation that speaks to the Western analytical mind. Martin Kettelhut pulls together many meditative traditions along with some contemporary neuroscience and personal stories from his own life and his clients' lives, to prove that this works.

Even if you only do a third of these exercises, you will benefit. But I say, trust Dr. Kettelhut's knowledge and experience. And trust me.

Do this work and your life will transform for the better!

"Listen...Till You Disappear" By Dr. Martin Kettelhut ISBN: 9781483422565 Paperback: $25.00 Available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Lulu

Book Review - What You Can When You Can #wycwyc

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Book Review - What You Can When You Can - Healthy Living on Your Terms by Carla Birnberg and Roni Noone #wycwyc

5/5 Stars

I am amazed every day by the women I know. And with thousands of social media and blogging buddies, my circle has expanded greatly.

Carla Birnberg and I met originally on Twitter, while I was still teaching at Parrot Cay in Turks and Caicos and she was still writing as MizFit, who blogged and wrote about fitness and weight loss after losing and maintaining the loss of 35 pounds while starting a family and a business (MizFit: How to Build Muscle and Lose Weight Without Losing Your Mind).

We stayed connected ever since, and I have even written guest posts for her blog. I have always appreciated her snarky, yet positive attitude towards life. And over the past year, as I have gotten busier, I have come to appreciate her "what you can, when you can" approach to fitness, health, and just about everything.

She calls it #wycwyc (pronounced wick-wick). And the #wycwyc tag is already very active on social media. A community of women doing what they can when they can, and feeling better for it. A Google search produced over 6000 results, and you can buy #wycwyc merchandise at the online store.

Carla and her friend Roni Noone, also a mom and blogger with a fabulous weight loss story, have finally written a clear and concise guide to life, health, and happiness for all of us busy women, What You Can When You Can - Healthy Living On Your Own Terms.

They sent me a free pre-publication draft to read and review. I couldn't wait to read it!

As a MindMAP Coach, I steer very clear of any coaching or self-help materials that use radical change, threats, and judgements to motivate people. All that does is cause us to feel overwhelmed and panic, which sends us into fight, flight, or freeze mode, none of which allow us to learn and truly transform.

Even as a Pilates teacher and trainer, I meet my clients where they are on any given day, not where they "should" be. Instead of giving them more stuff to read and do, I try to simplify things.

And that is exactly what Carla and Roni do in this book!

What You Can When You Can: Healthy Living on Your Terms promotes small, easy, flexible shifts that will help you add activity, healthy food, and fun to your days without crazy stress. With chapter headings like, "Accept Perfect is Never Coming," "Stop Musturbating," and "Even If You Can, Don't!" What you Can When You Can gives us ways to approach life without judgement and guilt.

It is an easy, quick read (I read it in an evening) that is packed full of useful tidbits. Follow even a small fraction of their advice and I can guarantee you will be feeling better. Each chapter ends with a #wycwyc activity to help build a community of support.

Pre-order What You Can When You Can: Healthy Living on Your Terms today! It will be available on April 28, 2015.

Five Coaching Mistakes Every New Trainer Makes

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There are Five Coaching Mistakes That Every New Trainer Makes

In yesterday's post on Marketing 101, I mentioned my friend Dax Moy, the highest paid trainer in the UK for very good reason.

In dealing with his own PTSD after surviving the tsunami in Thailand, Dax realized that many of the ways he (and everyone else) was coaching clients, including how he talks to them and how he frames questions, were actually making things harder for them.

So instead of fighting with non-compliant clients, instead of stressing then out and making them feel threatened by yelling at them, giving them ultimatums, pushing too hard, and expecting way too much, Dax started really listening to his clients and approaching them from a different place.

A place of support, understanding, and healing.

Do you make these five coaching mistakes?

Does your trainer or coach make them?

There is a better way!

httpv://youtu.be/iLhCypAuo7g