Judaism

How to Stop Arguing

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Wonder How to Stop Arguing?

I feel like I grew up arguing.

Seriously, I watched orthodox jewish relatives argue about Torah interpretations in synagogue when I was very, very young. And I watched my mother argue with my father and with her friends and relatives.

As an academic, I went into Philosophy. Yes, I picked the major where we got to argue, and many times argue over things that we would never, ever resolve.

So arguing and debating are my default responses to just about anything. And I like to win, which makes me truly obnoxious at times.

The other day on Facebook, my friend Lissa Rankin posted a wonderful quote:

You do not need to attend every argument you are invited to.

And I thought, "What?" But don't I have to attend every argument? And most importantly, don't I have to win (or at least give it my best shot)?

I have been thinking about this over the past few days, and I realize that in the same way that I don't need to attend every party, or go to every meeting, I don't need to attend every argument.

This is a strangely liberating thought.

I realize now how compulsive and automatic arguing has become for me.

I also realize now how annoying that must be for everyone around me. Especially hubby.

How to stop arguing?

The first step is realizing that you just don't have to.

Reiki for Orthodox Jews

There has been much written recently about Reiki and christianity, with the Catholic church coming out strongly against Reiki (smacks of the witch burnings, if you ask me). But while I know many Jews who practice reiki I haven't seen much discussion of the practice amongst Orthodox Jews. The I found this Hocus POcus post on an Orthodox Jewish woman's (Hannah Sarah's) blog discussing her mother's practice of Reiki and an interesting discussion in the comments about whether Reiki is an acceptable practice or avoda zara.

My mother was telling me about auras and all that stuff. As I'm inclined to believe my mom, I listened to what she had to say. Apparently, a healthy person has a large egg shaped aura evenly spread all over their whole body. My mother said that she was once working on 2 ladies (physical therapy- at 2 different times) and felt that their aura was large in most places but over their breast it was quite small. My mother suggested they check out to make sure everything is ok with their breast, and one ended up having a massive breast infection in that breast, and the other discovered she had cancer in that breast.
Creepy. Totally.

I don't know yet that I'm a complete believer in energy healing, but I won't dismiss it completely like I used to... I used to have my husband put his hands on my stomach when i had bad morning sickness and it helped the way a hot pack would...

Regarding Reiki's status...

A good friend of mine (Billie) who is a doctor of Chinese medicine, asked a big rov in NY, and she got a ruling that it was NOT avoda zara, so take it for what it's worth. She knows that any energy she uses is a gift directly from Hashem, and that she is just a pipeline for that energy. She takes no credit for her abilities whatsoever, and makes sure that all of her patients know that.

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  • Debbie (reikiawakening.blogspot.com)
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