How to Stop Arguing


Wonder How to Stop Arguing?

I feel like I grew up arguing.

Seriously, I watched orthodox jewish relatives argue about Torah interpretations in synagogue when I was very, very young. And I watched my mother argue with my father and with her friends and relatives.

As an academic, I went into Philosophy. Yes, I picked the major where we got to argue, and many times argue over things that we would never, ever resolve.

So arguing and debating are my default responses to just about anything. And I like to win, which makes me truly obnoxious at times.

The other day on Facebook, my friend Lissa Rankin posted a wonderful quote:

You do not need to attend every argument you are invited to.

And I thought, "What?" But don't I have to attend every argument? And most importantly, don't I have to win (or at least give it my best shot)?

I have been thinking about this over the past few days, and I realize that in the same way that I don't need to attend every party, or go to every meeting, I don't need to attend every argument.

This is a strangely liberating thought.

I realize now how compulsive and automatic arguing has become for me.

I also realize now how annoying that must be for everyone around me. Especially hubby.

How to stop arguing?

The first step is realizing that you just don't have to.