family

Thanksgiving Can Be Every Day

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Thanksgiving Can (and should) Be Everyday

I am just busting full of gratitude today for all of the awesome people in my life and the exciting things that are happening!

Family Is Fabulous

Today we will happily subway out to the Three Star diner on Avenue U in Brooklyn for an early 4pm dinner with my uncle Bob and my cousins. Uncle Bob Lippin is my dad's older brother, and I don't think he ever saw himself outliving my parents and his wife Rita. Yet, he is still here to enjoy time with us as a family!

So when he asked if we would come out, we happily accepted!

Creative Self Love Month

November is normally quite stressful, but this year has been a bit more so. I really miss my parents this year, Smiley is another year older (and 13 is really old for a dog), and my body feels completely out of whack. Tires, bloated, and stressed. To address the latter, I went to my holistic doctor on Monday and had all of my hormone levels and thyroid checked, so I can hopefully take some action next week.

To address the former, I have been using Cheryl Bridges' new book, Me, Myself, & I ~ 28 Days of Creative Self-Love. The book includes inspiring pictures and artwork, links to uplifting music and videos, plus daily creative exercises and journaling cues.

Since I have huge issues with boundaries and saying no, I chose to spend more than one day focusing on this topic, which is still happening on Thanksgiving day.

When the lack of boundaries keeps us from speaking our needs clearly and saying “No,” when our hearts desire it, it’s not unusual that we end up doing things out of obligation. Resentment for what we’ve gotten ourselves into can sometimes be directed at the very person we had hoped not to hurt when we didn’t say “No” in the first place. We can become bitter when the situation happens again and again.

We have to let go of our overfunctioning concern about what the other person thinks or how they will react.

Yup!

Through the affirmations, meditations, and journaling, I am able to more clearly understand and see how my indiscriminate Yes was actually harming me. I even said no to a review opportunity this Thanksgiving morning and it felt great!

Learn more about the book and author at CreativeSelfLove.com or click here to purchase the kindle version of the book on Amazon.

Finally, here is an awesome interview with Cheryl Bridges about Me, Myself, & I ~ 28 Days of Creative Self-Love:

https://youtu.be/V5uP4ndzFQE

Note that I received this book free of charge in exchange for my unbiased review.

Happy Birthday Mom

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Happy birthday Mom - My mother would have turned 83 today.

I have been slowly getting better since my parents died. But today I am sad.

This would have been my mother's 83rd birthday. She spent the last 20 years institutionalized, first due to untreatable bipolar disorder compounded by dementia, and then spent her final 3 years in the nursing home in hospice acre for her failing physical body.

The last time I saw my mother, she was dying. She passed less than 24 hours from our visit.

Happy birthday Mom. I know you are in a better place.

Saying Goodbye To Dad

Saying goodbye to a parent is not fun, but is so important. My last phone call and real conversation with my Dad was on Wednesday afternoon.

It went something like this:

"Hi Dad, how are you?"

Muffled... "How are you? Are you all OK?"

"We're fine, Dad. How are you feeling?"

Progressively fading... "I thought I lost my eyeglasses, but they are in...."

"In your nightstand drawer, like I told you. You just didn't have them the two days you were in the hospital."

"Well, isn't that something?"

"I love you Dad. We'll be there to see you Saturday!"

"WHERE ARE YOU?"

"In my apartment in NY, Dad."

"WHERE ARE YOU? MILLIE..." Phone drops into lap.

Suddenly I realize he is no longer talking to me, but to my dead mother.

I called his hospice nurse, Chris. "Is he eating? He sounds scared, confused. Why is he in a wheelchair sitting in the hallway when he has fallen out of the chair or bed nine times in the past 11 days? Why is he sitting in the dining room for dinner when he's not eating?"

Yesterday morning Chris went to see Dad. Only semi-responsive and only talking now to Mom on other side. Ordered bed rest only with discontinuation of all meds except Atavan and Oxycodone, so he can rest and is not in pain.

We will go tomorrow to say goodbye to Dad.

We said goodbye to Mom on September 7. Mom died September 9.

End of life sucks, but if you have no plans in place you should get on that. Seriously. Otherwise you will be stuck in a system where you have no control over how you live and die in your last years.

My Dad advocated for my bipolar mother consistently for 50 years. I now advocate for him.

In fact, I will probably be arguing his third stage Medicare appeal after he is buried, since the timeline is backed up due to the government shutdown.

So not fun!