nursing home

Spring Is Finally Here


English: Mother's Day card While today is Mother's Day, I prefer to focus instead on the fact that it is finally spring. You see, my mother has been in a nursing home for the past 20 years, and now has advanced dementia to the point where she doesn't recognize me anymore. She is also in hospice care, showing the signs of jaundice that are a prelude to liver cancer.

In the years leading up to her institutionalization, Mom suffered with the demons of bipolar disorder, putting both of us into severely inappropriate and dangerous situations. She would hallucinate, have delusions of grandeur, and throughout my teens would steal me from my father to go to bars, bingo halls, and restaurants where we would smoke endless cigarettes and drink whiskey sours.

So I focus on Spring - warmth, sun, flowers, and less clothing. Yay!

Fitness Pros Get Tired Too


I'm A Fitness Pro and I'm exhausted!


Sleeping when studying - Nakhon Sawan, Thailand

I am writing this at 6:23am EST. My first client this morning just canceled, as she is too exhausted to make it in. And given that I charge for the full session, this is not an inexpensive cancellation.

When I saw my doctor yesterday for my annual exam, my biggest complaint was exhaustion. She first asked me how my year went. I responded with my stuff, "My mother has liver cancer and is in hospice care, plus she has dementia and doesn't recognize me at all. My 86 year old father fell, was in rehab for three weeks, and during that time I orchestrated and physically moved his stuff to an assisted living facility. My 10 year old dog is having kidney issues, and my husband is suffering with depression. I am having trouble losing weight and eating properly, as all I want is comfort food."

Dr. Sondhi looked at me and replied, "If you had told me that you were sleeping 20 hours a day at the moment I wouldn't think it odd given your life right now. The fact that you are here and smiling is a testament to your strength and fortitude. Of course you are tired!"

She tested my thyroid function, but believes that exhaustion and stress are the cause of my problems.

How did I get to this place? What could I do to make it better? Maybe follow MY OWN ADVICE?

I could at minimum give myself some reiki (20 minutes), take an epsom salt bath (how ever long I want), and do 30 minutes of intense exercise followed by a bit of pilates or yoga. That's all it would take! Less than an hour!

So today I promise myself to do at least that - 30 minutes of fitness and 20 minutes of reiki followed by a mineral bath. Can't wait!

  • Tired
  • Ole Henriksen spills the beauty secrets of Epsom salts
  • The New Old Age Blog: Assisted Living vs. Hospice: Who's in Charge?

Law of Attraction - Dad and the Nursing Home

We saw the law of attraction in action this past week as my Dad managed to wish himself into a nursing home.

My father is 86 years old and has been hale, hearty, and even working up until last year. In the last few months he became really depressed and felt very alone, which wasn't a good combination with not eating well (I really wish that Dunkin Donuts would stop offering AARP members free donuts with coffee, and at least give an egg sandwich or something with protein, but I digress...) and some dehydration from too much coffee and not enough water.

So we made plans and preparations to move Dad over to an income-sensitive independent-moving-towards-assisted living complex for seniors where he could have meals on site, doctors on site, laundry, housekeeping, and a social network. And we kept giving him advice on food and water. Still, every time I spoke to him he was more tired and mentioned going into a nursing home.

Note that my mother has been in a nursing home for the past decade and now has advanced dementia.

Last week he fell, and after the hospital they sent him to the same nursing home as Mom for short term rehab. And he hates it! It's boring and there are lots of truly ill and disabled people. He is looking forward to moving now, even though he is sore from therapy and refuses to admit that simply eating real food three times a day and drinking more is helping him feel better.

Now, it turns out that he actually called the home a few weeks ago to see if he could enter voluntarily. So last night I said, "Dad, be careful what you wish for because you might very well get it," and he laughed. At least he didn't break anything and is getting a preview of what it would be like there full time. And they will do his Medicaid application while he is there, so he can be covered moving forward as he needs more care. Oy!